Wednesday, October 29, 2025

Telegraph Road

I woke up this morning with Dire Straits’ song “Brothers in Arms” playing through my head.  I had heard the song recently, and it resonated.  There’s something so sad about all of Dire Straits and Mark Knopfler’s music–beautiful and sad, even when it's joyous and celebratory.  It touches those own sad chords in me.  


When I was a child growing up in Zachary, Louisiana, northeast of Baton Rouge, it seemed we were always driving to Texas.  My dad’s mother and grandparents lived southwest in the black-dirt farmland, his father and those grandparents northwest of Houston in the hills, gullies, and ranchland of Central Texas, and my mom’s parents lived northeast of Houston, in the piney woods.


When I was very young, the road to Texas was mostly a two- or four-lane highway through long stretches of woods lining the road and permeated by bayous with green swamp water often visible from the windows of the car.  Every now and then we’d hit a little town with little wooden houses, and sometimes a big fancy brick house.  I was always excited when we hit Houma, Louisiana, and I saw the sign for the Jim Bowie house.  I would beg for us to stop and go to the museum, but it was always closed when we drove by, and my dad always said we didn’t have time and would laugh at me.  I had heard all the tales of the Alamo and of his knife, and I wanted a Bowie knife.  I had no idea that he was a slave trader and killer–my head had been filled with tales of adventure that left out all the facts, and I absorbed the hero-worship.


There wasn’t much to look at for a little kid, and it was a long drive, usually taking 8-10 hours.  I watched out the windows and let my imagination run free.  Or counted billboards. 


Eventually, the highway was supplanted by an interstate, and the trip shortened to 5-6 hours.  We bypassed all the little towns and most of Houston, only stopping for gas, usually at a Speedway near Vidor-Orange-Beaumont, sometimes getting a burger, but for the most part, just driving as fast as we could to the little towns where my grandparents lived that had been bypassed by interstates and the progress of the 20th century and were becoming museums themselves.  Our destination was always to visit with the old people in the old towns out in the country.


Years later, Christmas 1983 or 84, I was driving with my mother and husband, Jim Milles, to my mother’s family home in Magnolia, Texas.  We were driving at night, and my mom was a talker.  One memorable time she had talked non-stop for the whole 5-hour trip about one set of drapes she was designing for a client.  It was a tour de force that Jim and I still laugh about, but at the time it was a kind of torture.  We had found that the best way to travel with my mother was to play music that we could all listen to, and one of the good things about my mom was that she loved music and was very open to hearing new music.  


On this trip, we were listening to the radio, and had found a station that was playing one good song after another, and we were all having fun.  The traffic was light, and we had just approached Houston on a Sunday night. The lights of the city were shining, and the skyscrapers of downtown soared into sight. That first glimpse always took my breath away. After hours of nothing but dark countryside and interstate exit signs, the emerald city was before us.  And beyond that, our destination, my favorite place in the world, my mother’s parents’ home, with a perpetual fire in the fireplace, deep in the piney woods, 300 acres of forest and lakes that was our own private paradise.


Right at that moment, Dire Straits' “Telegraph Road” came on.  My mother stopped talking.  The song has a long, slow instrumental build-up, and my mother was all in from the first note.  We all were.  Jim was driving, and we were mesmerized.


Then came the first words: 


“A long time ago, came a man on a track

Walking thirty miles with a sack on his back

And he put down his load where he thought it was the best

He made a home in the wilderness

He built a cabin and a winter store

And he ploughed up the ground by the cold lake shore

And the other travellers came walking down the track

And they never went further, no, and they never went back”


My mother caught her breath, and I could hear her thinking with every word, that this was her personal history being told in a song.  Her grandparents and parents had settled in these piney woods, built a cabin, dug lakes, manned the only store, raised and butchered animals to sell in the store, built roads, surveyed the land, and helped make a town.


The rest of the song told the whole story that my mother had witnessed from her childhood to her current middle age:


“Then came the churches, then came the schools

Then came the lawyers, and then came the rules

Then came the trains and the trucks with their loads

And the dirty old track was the telegraph road


Then came the mines, then came the ore

Then there was the hard times, then there was a war

Telegraph sang a song about the world outside

Telegraph road got so deep and so wide

Like a rolling river


And my radio says tonight it's gonna freeze

People driving home from the factories

There's six lanes of traffic

Three lanes moving slow


I used to like to go to work, but they shut it down

I've got a right to go to work

But there's no work here to be found

Yes, and they say we're gonna have to pay what's owed

We're gonna have to reap

From some seed that's been sowed


And the birds up on the wires and the telegraph poles

They can always fly away from this rain and this cold

You can hear them singing out their telegraph code

All the way down the telegraph road


You know, I'd sooner forget

But I remember those nights

When life was just a bet on a race

Between the lights

You had your head on my shoulder

You had your hand in my hair

Now you act a little colder

Like you don't seem to care


But believe in me, baby, and I'll take you away

From out of this darkness and into the day

From these rivers of headlights, these rivers of rain

From the anger that lives on the streets with these names

'Cause I've run every red light on memory lane

I've seen desperation explode into flames

And I don't want to see it again

From all of these signs saying, "Sorry, but we're closed"

All the way down 

The Telegraph Road”



My mother had seen the country road that led to her parent’s road–Beyette Road–named after her family–turn from a narrow 2-lane in the woods with only a Lone Star Feed sign as a marker into a 4-lane road with traffic lights and businesses and even six-lanes for part of the road, with a bridge bypassing the little antique shop she liked, which soon disappeared.


She had seen her mother and her mother’s friends go from working in the little country store in town to driving into Houston to work at the fancy Sears in the rich part of Houston, and then when the traffic got to be too much, and my grandmother’s friend died in a traffic accident, to my grandmother not driving to Houston at all and tending graves of her loved ones as her main occupation.


Instead of mines and ore, she had seen the piney woods cut down for lumber, and the main business of town being a sawmill.  Until it was no more.


I could feel my mother thinking and remembering all of this as the song played on, and she sat stunned into silence.


It’s a 14-minute song, symphonic in its scope and drama, soaring at times, and then fading away at the end.  


The song played as we circled outside of Houston and ended as we came to the road leading to my grandparents.  We turned off the radio and sat in silence the rest of the way, turning off the highway onto Beyette road, driving on the gravel road through the pine trees, over the bridge and up the long red dirt gravel driveway twisting through pines, with lakes on either side, until we arrived at my grandparents, with smoke rising through the chimney.


Telegraph Road


Wednesday, February 12, 2025

Alarm Clock, 2/12/25, United States of Derangement

When the alarm goes off on my cell phone, the sound lingers, sometimes for hours, after I’ve turned the sound off.  It’s like a ghost effect of digital sound.  That didn’t happen back in the day of analog alarm clocks–the sound was done when it ended.  It’s like those photographs on the cell phone that shift while I look at them, where I see movement, even though it’s a still photograph.  Digital ghost effects.


When I graduated from Zachary High School in 1976, my grandmother Eloise Beyette, my mother’s mother, gave me a radio alarm clock to take to college with me.  It was my first radio alarm clock, and it was fancy.  A big Zenith with stereo sound.  I loved it, and I loved the way the radio sounded.  Most of all, I loved that the alarm could be set in 20-minute increments.  That’s the feature I used the most.  I took 20-minute naps all through college.  My grandmother’s gift trained me so thoroughly that after a while I could take a 20-minute nap without setting the alarm.  My body shifted automatically into wake-up mode at 20 minutes.  I’ve retained that ability throughout my life.  A lingering body knowledge.


My grandmother, who I called “Grandma Cecil” all her life–Cecil was her husband’s first name, and we called him “Grandpa Cecil”--for reasons that must have made sense to my tiny child’s mind, and the name just stuck–it was years before I knew their actual names–my grandmother bought this magical alarm clock at Worthley’s Appliances in Tomball, Texas, where she bought all her appliances, and where she carried a credit, probably all her life.  Money was precious and rare in ways that were elemental, local, and deep in the bone. This vast global world of digital money and easy credit in an amorphous cloud of unknowing with its illusory wealth and insatiable greed did not exist yet, was only a wisp of a dream, a faint, unimaginable desire for things to be easier, more prosperous, more comfortable.


After all, they had a home.  They had land, over 100 acres of piney woods with a creek fed by a natural spring and ponds carved out of the land and filled by the spring.  Red dirt and pine trees and lakes and rivers, gardens, deer, bobcats, squirrels, and the occasional panther.  And always fire ants and copperheads.  Sometimes coral snakes, water moccasins too.  Taking care of their land and their home and their family, cooking, cleaning, growing food, fishing, that’s what it was all about.  They had their own well and water tank, which they maintained.  They built bridges over the creek when it crossed pathways through the woods.  They selectively cut trees for lumber and maintenance.  They had minnow tanks, catfish ponds, and a mushroom cellar.  They had a deep freeze off the back of the house.  They filled it every year by purchasing a cow, which was slaughtered for them.  They had a pantry filled floor to ceiling with canned goods my grandmother canned from their garden–green beans, pickles–dill and sweet, tomatoes, peaches, pears, okra, beets–the best beets ever–a cornucopia of sparkling colors in mason jars stacked high and orderly.


They had the kind of wealth that rarely exists now.  But they didn’t have much money.  It was a sacrifice and an accomplishment for my grandmother to give me that radio-alarm clock, and I am eternally grateful–a legacy that lingers.  It shaped me, literally shaping my sense of time, and giving me a deep sense of my value and how loved I was and how my family was with me, even if our lives and destinies were quite different, that they were somehow always with me.


As I watched and pondered Kendrick Lamar’s half-time show, which they would’ve watched on their big old console Zenith TV if they were still alive and such a TV were still operable, and which they would’ve shook their heads at in total bewilderment, as I watched his operatic performance and many videos dissecting its symbolism, the music and images lingered, playing in my mind over and over.  Uncle Sam looking and sounding deranged and dissociated and completely out of touch and out of sync with what was actually happening–an old, ineffective, Uncle Tom-like, accommodationist, reactionary man.  Kendrick Lamar crouched in a warrior stance almost mumbling to himself in a rapid fire incantation, like a shaman, not meant to be understood except by the initiated, calling forth his people, emerging from under the car, and swarming.  Kendrick Lamar advancing forward down the field, defying the game, like a panther coming straight at you.  So much himself that he couldn’t be denied.  So much forward momentum that he couldn’t be contained.  Naming and describing the game and defying the game in the very act of playing it.  Sounding the alarm with a lingering effect.


The United States of Derangement.